As the end of the year approaches and you reflect over the events that have taken place in the last 12 months… The current podcast episode looks at why your mind unconsciously resists and how you can make those goals stick!

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I see resolution season approaching. At this point I smile because I saw a tweet where someone posted he was planning resolutions for the new year that he had carried over from the previous year, that somehow didn’t get done in the year before that. I’m smiling because I conduct trainings and workshops to help people understand the mental roadblocks that prevent doing the things they say they want, and this is a frequent comment. Several people attending asked me to get the word out and explain a little about the process I use and what makes it so effective

I firmly believe that we all have the capacity to achieve the things we say we want, being able to access that capacity is where the difficulty comes in. Unknown to you just below consciousness are hidden fears and habits that hinder you. If I asked you if you wanted to do something you would say “yes”, but if I followed you around I might see you doing things that would make me question your answer. Again those hidden thinking patterns that influence behavior…

Part of the reason the “just stop doing it” approach has such a high failure rate is that you may have the desire to change but your unconscious has become accustomed to approaching a situation in a particular way. No matter how illogical the behavior, it serves a useful purpose for the unconscious. Mentally you are not prepared to change until it, the unconscious, has been convinced that the change is beneficial, does not threaten some hidden goal or if it does has a workable alternative, and finally works based on your life experiences. And, as any therapist will tell you, only YOU know all that and may not be willing to admit it to them let alone yourself at times.

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Rather than asking you something on a conscious level, I work with individuals by helping them get to a relaxed state, and rather than giving a command to “stop doing this” which your unconscious is going to resist anyway; I begin to tell you a pleasant story with an underlying message that because it is buried in the story is able to get past the hidden barriers you’ve mentally set up to keep a particular behavior or habit in place.

The story I mentioned is presented in a welcoming and pleasant manner that is less threatening to your unconscious. In fact, it makes your unconscious a partner rather than the enemy because it wants to continue the pleasant experience. this way you get more mental cooperation to find a solution that has meaning for you. This is done by leaving gaps in the story that you begin to fill in based on experiences that your unconscious feels are acceptable. I’m always amazed when people tell me bits and pieces of their memory of a session including things I haven’t mentioned in the story.

You’ve experienced this when you’ve struggled with a situation and decided to “sleep on it” only to wake up the next day with a solution that seemed so apparent you asked yourself why you didn’t think of it sooner. What happened overnight while you were in a rested state or light stage sleeping, your unconscious began to check “the memory banks” and created a workable solution that fit the situation at hand. The same thing occurs during the sessions I’ve described only it is more directed toward change as a whole rather than a single issue.

People who have tried the process are often surprised, based on their values, how quickly they find themselves better able to handle what used to be hard to tackle. Some of those same people asked me to record a few of the most popular sessions they could load on their phones or iPods to relax and listen to whenever they wanted. One of the most popular is Mindful Relaxation. It’s designed to help you become more confident and accepting of change or your ability to confront things that have been difficult in the past.

So, before resolution season is fully upon you I suggest visiting “the Shop” to give yourself a fighting chance of success. Isn’t it time to stop going in circles… ?