I’ve received some feed back asking why I felt the need to blog about money personalities and thought it made sense before proceeding to offer a more detailed rationale of the importance of this topic.
Working in my practice I have often been confronted with couples who come in stating specific problems in the relationship. And yet, after history taking and problem formation I discovered that the primary problem in the relationship was money.
Few of us realize the importance money plays in any relationship. For many, both male and female, money is power and signifies the degree of importance one has in the relationship, in addition to world view concepts that come into conflict after the wedding. Sometimes these people have been through premarital counseling or have been together for a number of years. So I had to ask myself “What caused these people to reach this point, and why have these basic differences not come to light long ago.”
What I discovered is that there are a number of money personality traits which govern our relationship with money. And, for each personality money is really not the issue but simply the representation of a belief system we developed over time that scripts us to behave in a particular manner on a number of levels. Very often people with conflicting money personalities will meet and marry. And it is at this point that I am reminded of a book from my graduate school days titled “The Mirages of Marriage” where to paraphrase, the authors state that when we go through courtship we enter into a type of madness provided by the feel good hormones our bodies produce. It is only “after” the marriage that the madness begins to pass and that is when they notice the areas of conflict.” Money then takes on a whole new level of meaning and discomfort based on very different scripts the two are unconsciously using.
And so, this series has been written to help understand exactly what is your money personality, what that means in 
terms of your money behavior, and things you can do to rewrite portions of your script for a better relationship with money. At times it will not be easy because you will be asked to go back and discover how your belief system was developed. But, if you stick with it you will find that I offer not only education but also understanding so you can begin to analyze the significance of some of the things you do and release your spirit from the “mirages” of unsustainable social status and empty calorie shopping.