The current podcast came to me after a friend asked me to talk with her daughter fresh out of college, working a new job, and emotionally struggling. She had taken the job with the expectation she would be trained and then build on that training to do a great job for her company.
What actually happened was limited training that created more questions than answers and huge expectations regarding what she should be doing. Sound familiar? Situations like this can break your spirit if you let it. Here are several steps you can take to once again find your stride and rebuild your confidence.
Admit feelings of disappointment
Some people in these types of situations take on the deer in the headlight attitude and become paralyzed. Doing nothing does not make it go away. So take a moment to admit that things have not turned out like you hoped and admit you are experiencing disappointment.
Allow time to heal
Like it or not the death of your expectations is just that, a death. Take a few days or a weekend for some “me” time to heal your spirit. A short trip or a few long walks can help you to get away from the situation and experience a little enjoyment. This distancing allows you to come back to the situation with a clear head and a rested spirit.
Look at your expectations
Reviewing your expectations allows you to put things into perspective to align your expectations with the reality of your current situation. A perfect example of this is a fast paced start-up where there is not a formal training program. You envisioned hands on training while the expectation for the company was to give you the basics and let you jump in and find your way. Taking the emotion out of the situation allows you to see where expectations and reality do not line up.
Seek a different perspective
Seeking the advice of someone within the company who understands the culture can provide you with a big picture view of how things actually work. If you are not comfortable going within the company, try to find someone with experience who can translates your experience into actionable steps that can point you in the right direction.
Adjust your mindset to make a new plan
You’ve had some time to reflect and now comes the task of tackling the situation based on your new information. This may mean shadowing others when you can, reading on your own about the subject area, or even joining a professional group where you can work with others to fill in the knowledge gaps. All these steps point to developing a different plan of attack other than the old plan that obviously was not working.
Despite the disappointment that came from the situation you will have primed yourself for dealing with adversity and becoming more adaptive. Along the way you will also develop greater skill at self-reflection, a deeper understanding of your company’s culture, and new resources to deal with disappointment. Armed with these new skills you are more likely to experience success.
If you like the show, be sure to subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher. If you really like it, be sure to write a review. It helps the show.
Great tips here, that kind of remind me of the 12 Steps you have to take to get through disappointment, grief, or addiction. The key is taking your time for each step!
While I would not put it in the same category of addiction, there is what I would call a grieving process (the loss of your expectations) and one has to first let go of your original expectations (hopes) and begin the process of creating a new reality that is based on the situation you are faced with. Taking it step by step insures the probability of success.
“the loss of your expectations” ha! get a grip! you should come into the job with this reality! the training itself is on the job. find you a willing teacher or know it all and ask as many question from there.
Finding a willing teacher was suggested in the section “Adjusting your mindset” because as you point out it is now time for the person to take some initiative in terms of guiding their own learning.