My father at 86 years old has gone through a crisis. He has lived long enough to see a black man become President, feel his bones become brittle, survive hip surgery, and now to try to continue his life with limited mobility.
A few years ago when he was more mobile we asked him about going to Wiley Senior Center near our neighborhood. He refused stating “Why do I want to hang around those old people?” But then came the hip surgery… and his world became smaller.
It now consists of his backyard,
filling a bird feeder
and growing plants for a garden he tends that is a smaller version of his former life of 27 years as a greens keeper at a Country Club.
A few days ago I took a chance and asked once again if he wanted to try the Senior Center. He responded as if it was a new thought: “That is a good idea… I had not thought about doing that but I am willing to go!” My brother’s response was that he would believe it when it happened because he had refused in the past.
The big day arrived and my sister called me with a report that my father had gotten up early and was getting dressed! I almost fell out of my chair because it confirmed commitment on his part. I arrived to pick him up and he was dressed but simply needed help closing the velcro on his shoes (age makes children of us all).
We arrived at the Wiley Senior Center and a very attractive older woman named Dee gave us a tour. She happily chatted with Daddy and I could only watch in wonder at his shyness and the fact he seemed to come alive as he followed Dee around the facility. I was not allowed to stay as Dee told me their program “was not kindergarten.” And yet, as I left I understood how parents feel when they leave their children on the first day of school.
I returned several hours later and found Daddy in the Dining area finishing up the provided lunch. He was talking with two other men and seemed quite pleased with himself. One older woman sitting near by told me “He did just fine!” As we walked toward the door to leave two other older women asked me “Is he coming back?” Daddy just kept walking…
Later that evening as the family discussed the big outing, Daddy indicated he enjoyed the event but would not discuss why the two women asked about his returning. I had to smile because it appears my father has become the Senior Center Romeo!
I must say, that when I saw the first picture, I thought 'what a handsome man'….. and for your Dad to be able to stay in his home at his age is a major feat… My parents are a bit younger than your Dad and I see how much my mom has aged … I can see your Dad is mulling over the thought of the senior center… it takes a lot of courage to make that decision…
Yes Chrissy,
It took courage on his part but now he counts the hours between his next visit. It has given him a new reason to get up in the morning on the days he goes. My brother even threatens to put Viagra in his water bottle since he is a hit at the center.
LOL viagra, huh? your brother is a tease….next time u take him, I'd look to see if he's packin' a water bottle!. lol
Cherrie, in these photos, your father has all the world, all the life, all the wisdom into his eyes. He's a handsome man 🙂
Sorry for my English. A great kiss
I worked at an assisted living community for almost a year. About 80 percent of our population were women in their 80's who were "single" and only 20 percent were men. Men get a lot of care and attention at these communities and all of it is good, from what I have seen. Your father looks like he still has a lot of good looks and energy, some communities even have a community garden. I believe that the possibilities of life expand with each new friend you make, and your father looks like a sweet friendly guy.
Emma,
"I believe that the possibilities of life expand with each new friend you make"
I could not have said it any better
Oh how sweet! It is nice when a family member goes on to new digs on their own accord rather feeling like its being forced!
Most of the time it's not because we want to "get rid" of them, but concerned for their well being, especially when mobility is lost.
Your dad is so adorable and will no doubt get more attention from the ladies there!
A very noble face, indeed ! I don't blame his two groupies…
Take good care of him and bless the Lord to have such a wonderful dad.
(don't overdo it with the viagra, though…)
A very beautiful post about dealing with old age.
I wonder how I shall act, when I reach the same age as your father… ?