I recently ran into an old friend and wondered why we had not gotten together in awhile. Every encounter involves an exchange of energy and as we stood there talking I realized why there had been a long interval since our last meeting. She began a long list of things that were wrong, explained why things never went right for her, and told me everything she hated about her life and her family.
As I stood there watching her mouth move I could literally feel the energy flowing out of me and my mood went from uplifted to overcast. I wondered if she realized she had that effect and then had to admit years ago I used to do the same thing and never had a clue of its effect on the people around me.
But one day a friend was frank and told me she had grown tired of my endless stream of things that were wrong and it marked a turning point for me. My troubles did not end instantly but I made a concerted effort to give off cheer to the people I met. What surprised me was that I began to get more invites because people were glad to be around me. They were also more willing to help with advice when it was no longer a never ending list of problems. And, I also learned that my endless complaining was a back door way of begging people to pay attention to me. Once I began to give the gift of good cheer I no longer had to beg for attention, it flowed from all directions.
Back to my friend standing there draining the life out of me… I stopped her in mid sentence and mentioned my next appointment. As I hurried away I turned to her and said “Give the gift of good cheer, you will be surprised how it comes back to you…”
How true. We get what we send out!
hello! i am new to this blog thing but i came across ur post and wanted to let you know that u’ve inspired me to make more of an effort with positive energy 🙂 ! thank you!
I think we all have done that- going on and on about negative things.. but one can get drained from hearing all the positive things as well.. How about those Christmas newsletters that just gush w/all the fantastic things each family member has done during the year? THAT can be draining/sickening… At least w/a newsletter u can throw it out and the sender would never know… I think that whether the news is positive or negative is not the issue. I think its the person who is going on about it is wanting to talk to someone and may not have that listener at home? ( just a thought)
BTW, I have 3 avocado seeds rooting one has cracked the other two are just sitting….wouldn’t u know it but the smallest has cracked open!.
Chrissy,
I agree that too much of anything is not good, but good cheer does not have to be about yourself. If you notice something about a friend then give them a compliment. Or mention something about another person that you have noticed and think they would love to have reinforced to someone else. It makes them feel good and spreads the cheer.
Oh my, you are really going with the avocados! Keep at it!
Oh, I definitely don’t have a problem giving a compliment at all.. i think it depends on the one who is talking to me.. I do have a friend that when she starts its hard for her to let any one get a word in! lol..
Yep, the avocado idea stirred up old memories of when my mom would root one..
this is my first time in your blog, and i like it. nice blog!
efad. http://www.efadulhuq.blogspot.com
Hello,
New to your blog but believe you are going the right way. Keep up the good work. TW
I agree. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize our own behaviors until we see them in other people…
Cherrie,
This is such an important point. I constantly think about this, and when I do slip up and look back upon my negativity, I am convinced even more that we are the change we make in the world.
Important lesson. Thanks for reminding me!
Terre
Hi,
I am new to your blog. This is a great story and perhaps you want to watch the youtube movie VALIDATION.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao
It is 16 minutes for many smiles.
Thank you for your post.
Jacqueline,
That was a great little movie and goes a long way in proving the point of giving good cheer!