The other day I was driving on the way to visit a friend in the hospital. My head was full of good thoughts about cheering my friend up during a very bad time so close to Christmas, and out of the blue someone in an SUV cut in front of me and pushed me out of my lane.
Let me say this was not an accidental move but very intentional. The lane the SUV was in was a merge lane that would end soon and signs were posted everywhere to that fact. The SUV was driving beside me for a good part of the distance and it was plain to see that there was no one behind me, so it would have been quite easy to simply pull behind me and proceed on.
I drive a very small car and what was very apparent was that the person in the SUV had decided to take advantage of the size difference to speed up and muscle their way into my lane. It worked! I was forced to jam on the brake and swerve partially into the other lane to avoid an accident.
Needless to say my blood was boiling and once the situation had been brought right I was determined to pull ahead of the SUV, jump in front of them, and then slam on the brake to give them a taste of their own medicine (a common tactic here in Florida where aggressive driving is the State pastime).
And then something in my head said “Take a deep breath and let it go.” What I found funny was me driving along arguing with myself… “But this person needs to be taught a lesson!” “No, you have better things to do. Think about how great your friend in the hospital will feel to see you!” “But this person is a bully and should not be allowed to get away with that type of behavior!” “You are angry right now, but think about how this could escalate. Take a deep breath and let it go!” And so I did… but I will admit my blood was still boiling but I kept repeating that mantra “Let it go… let it go!” and soon felt calmer.
I arrived at the hospital and had a wonderful visit with my friend. She told me I made her laugh so much that the stitches on her stomach hurt but it felt good. And, I felt good as well.
Driving home I relived the event and was glad I did not allow myself to get sidetracked on the visit to my friend. And then, that voice I heard before returned and said “You did the right thing to let it go. Besides, you really laid on the horn when the SUV made that stupid move and embarrassed the heck out of them!”
I thanked my inner voice and order was restored. That instruction to take a deep breath has some basis in science in that oxygen is a natural relaxant, even though when someone says it to you you want to scream, it really does work. The holidays can be more than stressful with people rushing here and there… allow yourself a moment and take a deep breath…!
We spend so much of our time in our cars driving here and there, putting up with those who think their lives are so important that they "shouldn't have to follow the same rule as others". My technique is called steering wheel exercises. If I'm getting to the end of my rope I pull on the steering wheel, towards me and count to 10 slowly. Then I push the steering wheel away from me and count to 10 slowly again. Please don't do this if you are in the middle of a turn. But it calms me and at the same time it works my arm muscles. At the stop light I grab onto each side and try to pull it apart. Great for those flabby arms and my anger. Grrrrrrr
Have a wonderful stress free 2010!
Emme,
That is a good idea and I will try that along with the deep breathing. I also like the name "Steering wheel exercises". I can get a workout and drive too! (smile)
You certainly did right not to retaliate ! Perhaps even more than a deep breath of oxygen, the spirit of Xmas that is upon you helped you find the right answer …
I'll join Emme and your beautiful friend in hospital in wishing you a stress free (and gleeful !)new year 2010 !
Reading your experience reminds me of one similar to yours just happened a couple of days ago. The one driving the SUV was me and the saloon that was merging in almost hit me at the left side had I not swerved to the right to avoid a nasty crash. Thank goodness my reflexes didn't fail me and I was anticipating that moron coming in too fast. I was gritting and cursing between my teeth when I speed up along side by side with him and glared at him. He had the audacity to glare back as if it was my fault. And they say women drivers are bad, whoever say that to me and I'll give them a tight slap across their face so fast that they had no idea what hit them.
Well, age has definately mellowed down my temper somewhat. Had I been 20 years younger, I'd had done the same thing like you said most Florida drivers do, charge up in front of him and slam on the brakes. I did simmer down quickly and hope that that moron will have his days when someone did it back to him on my behalf. As they say, what goes round comes around.
Oops, sorry for babbling so much and taking up your time.
I wish you that in 2010 you’ll live sweet and lovely moments.
Happy new year, with the time in your arms 🙂
A million of kiss, God bless you.
Ana Márquez
Bonne Année, Cherrie, à vous et à Alex !
Looking forward to reading your blog in 2010 and in the years to come !
Happy New Year to each and every one!