I purposely waited almost a week after Mother’s Day to write this post because somehow it touches a raw nerve: Having to visit a cemetery to celebrate the day. My Mother was my champion, background cheerleader, and all round person of wisdom best friend. And, I always experience a sense of sadness when I have to acknowledge the fact that she is no longer in this world. The thought of sharing my progress in dealing with that sadness makes this post very important for me to let anyone else with those feelings know that you do come out on the other side of them.
I always love this picture of her as a young woman. I say that because she seems so happy and carefree. In it I see my sister’s face and realize where I got my smile.
I always dread going to her grave because somehow in my mind she is still alive and ever with me. Going to the cemetery somehow takes away that illusion but this Mother’s Day seemed different.
The difference this time was that I tenderly tended the grave and told her all the family news as I had always done. This time I was amazed that there were no tears but almost a quiet acceptance that this was the way we would have our talks from now until the end of my days.
This time the overwhelming sense of loss did not envelope me to the point of wanting to collapse. It was simply me and her sharing the latest exploits. Me honoring her on Mother’s Day, remembering all the secrets we had shared over a lifetime.
I turned around and looked at the flowers on all the other graves and could only hope that people experiencing the same feeling of 
loss were also able to finally reach this point.
Yes, I know this is my Mother’s resting place and as the time has gone by I have been better able to accept the fact that she is no longer physically in my life.
