Time and tide change everything and now that he is in his 80’s, in a strange way, we have made a connection based on the subtle change that occurs when you ever so slightly slip into being the adult and your parent becomes the child. He is frail now but stubborn about remaining independent, so I step softly around his desires and the dictates of real world abilities.

With the election two weeks away he is determined to walk into the voting booth and cast his vote for “Bama”. It took several days of coaching that there might be long lines and a three legged voter (two legs and a cane) didn’t quite fit the bill. Repetition I have found is a very effective weapon, it wears down the target. So now we have arrived at the decision to try early voting which in itself requires some planning. I make a copy of the sample ballot and walk him through it. Did I say repetition is a very effective weapon, because a week before I remind him continually of our ‘date’ to go vote. I do not help with his choices because that is personal and private and a sign that he is still in control. The choice is his to make…

On the appointed date I arrive an hour early and do the pilot to co-pilot routine: Hat? –”check”, Address? – “check”, Driver’s license? – “check, I have two” (an accident of memory loss, a duplicate acquired, and memory restored). “Too much information Daddy… pick the one you want to use.” All systems are now go!!

We run the gauntlet of the maze of poll workers and he manages to answer all the questions correctly, produces only one license, and finds a seat to rest the three legs while we both wait for a booth to actually cast the precious vote. I look him over while he patiently waits and really see him in all his frailty, happy as a child that he has made it this far.