The Great Exchange: Your Past is not Your Future

I was talking the other day to a friend who gloomily stated that most of his life had been so bad he could not imagine “that something good would ever happen to me.” My friend is not someone you tend to avoid because he is continually negative but someone who is fun and intelligent. So it really surprised me to hear him make that statement.

He then proceeded to tell me some things about his history that really surprised me and made me marvel at the life he still was able to carve out for himself. That conversation really stuck with me throughout the day and then this thought came to me “Your past is not your future.” I say that because sometimes we get so focused on all that has come before that we fail to take time to stop and marvel at just how far we have come.

I have said before that you cannot go forward looking back but I am still amazed at the number of people walking around bumping into things because their focus is on how broken they are by all the “stuff” that has happened to them. Yes, it is true that our life experiences tend to shape our world view; and some of those experiences have been less than wonderful or down right awful, but they do not guarantee more of the same.

I say that because that is what leaps of faith are all about: despite all that has come before, being willing to try one more time to stretch and get to the other side. I know there are times when we cannot help ourselves when thoughts about mistakes we have made or things that have happened to us pop into our heads and take us back down that road traveled so many times . That is what the mind does. But, if we are going to travel backwards make it a journey of your own choosing.

You may not be an astronaut, Donald Trump, or a movie star but somewhere down the line you did something right to get to this point. So when you feel tempted to get down on yourself that

nothing good can ever happen for you, choose a mental path that takes you back to a situation you thought you could not overcome but did and rejoice at your triumph. Really look at what you had to overcome and how far you have advanced in the process. That action alone establishes the fact that things can improve because you have seen it happen. Then use that energy to take your leap of faith that things can move forward, that you are deserving of a better future, and then pledge to work toward it… step by step. You can take big steps or small steps but step… by… step!

Next keep in mind that life is not physics and does not move in a straight line or follow an equation. Yes, there will be set-backs and disappointments, “stuff” happens. However, that is the best time to look back at how far you have come and pull up those memories of things you have overcome despite your past. Use that energy to make up your mind that the past cannot hold you no matter what depressing thought attempts to haunt you because you know that you have overcome before. And then, prepare to take your leap…

That is what I told my friend!

10 Comments

Kalei's Best Friend on 2009/11/03 at 6:55 am

Wise words!… I think its easy for people to think that they won't have good things come their way… I know for a fact that staying in a negative funk just makes me feel worse.. also its wasting energy and time… When I get in to those moods I find myself trying to busy myself into doing something positive.. after all there is only so much that we can control and even what we can is minimal..the more positive put out the more one gets back.

JLBO on 2009/11/03 at 10:10 am

Cherrie, this is a very refreshing post (and counsel to your friend) ! As you say, we’re all too often tempted to look back at all that “stuff” that hampers our walk thru life (I dare not say our “pilgrim’s progress” for fear of sounding too sanctimonious !).
For some of us, though, the “leap in faith” you so rightly advise implies not only that we rely on our own limited strength and resilience but that we confide in Him Who can alleviate the burden. But even that cannot be achieved by us alone…
I really loved your pictures for their symbolic as well as artistic value !

Cherrie McKenzie on 2009/11/03 at 10:50 am

Both of you have hit on the two most important points of this post, the action steps and spiritual side of any attempts on our part.

Thank you!

Ana Márquez on 2009/11/03 at 2:34 pm

Thank you for sharing yours photos and your thaughts with us, Cherrie. I love this stained glass window, I love the greats cathedrals and I remember its when I see this photo. Thanks. A great hug for you from Europe

Cherrie McKenzie on 2009/11/03 at 2:47 pm

Ana,

The picture of the stain glass window is from the Lightner Museum in St Augustine which will be featured in an upcoming blog on the Coactive dreams gallery. I loved it too because it seems so calming. Be sure to check back in a few days on the gallery because there were some amazing items at this museum!

SimpliDeDe on 2009/11/03 at 5:27 pm

thanks for commiting me, i want to say you write good posts and your thought are wise. keep doing what you do. thanks alot

Cherrie McKenzie on 2009/11/03 at 8:46 pm

Welcome DeDe,

Glad you have decided to comment. I will proudly say that you have joined what I think is one of the nicest group of blog commenters online. I simply provide the food for thought and you as readers provide the real meat of the issue. So feel free to jump in and again…welcome!

Ana Márquez on 2009/11/04 at 1:05 pm

I've got the wrong word, it's "thoughts", not "thaughts"… Puff, it's so difficult for me, ha ha.

Thanks, Cherrie, for your patience.

Cherrie McKenzie on 2009/11/05 at 12:11 am

Ana,

An easy mistake to make, but I think we all knew what you meant.

Poesy on 2009/11/06 at 12:23 am

Hey Cherrie this is Yolanda…I have a blog now…thank you for being a delight to my world…see ya soon.:)